I hope I didn't come off as being unfeeling about the original question.

It's obviously bothering her very much and I'm sorry that it's such an issue for them as a couple.

I guess sometimes the whole pornography debate gets people worked up and I can't always figure out why.

Here's an example of what I mean.

When I worked at the free clinic, some of the people either visiting us or WORKING at the clinic had a hard time with words like penis and vagina.

We desensitized them by having them say the word over and over until it was somewhat meaningless. There is and was NO reason for people to be unable to SAY these words...some people would actually sweat bullets and feel faint when they were forced to say them! LOL
That was clearly an over reaction and is often how people feel about pornography.

I do understand though, that the original poster here is feeling like there's an affair or something like that....