"I make a date for golf, and you can bet your life it rains
I try to give a party and the guy upstairs complains
I guess I'll go through life just catching colds and missing trains
Everything happens to me...

I never miss a thing, I've had the measles and the mumps
and everytime I play an ace my partner always trumps
I guess I'm just a fool who never looks before he jumps
Everything happens to me"

~Everything Happens To Me~ Chet Baker

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~I'm finally getting laid!~