The non-negotiables, in my mind:

1. Integrity ~ true to himself and others. A stong sense of what is "right."
2. Intelligence ~ Basic curiosity about the world and his place in it.
3. Passion ~ He must have something he is dedicated to. Maybe work, maybe hobbies...but I don't want to be the only thing in his life.
4. Thrifty ~ Must be able to manage a budget and not go into debt. This is a big issue for me because of my past.
5. Opinionated ~ Not an ass, but willing to tell me when he thinks I am full of shit. I want a companion, not a yes-man.
6. Compassionate ~ Cares about others' feelings, thoughts, and experiences.
7. Open minded and willing to experiment ~ Both in bed and out of it.
8. Social Grace ~ He doesn't have to be a male Martha Stewart, but he has to be able to get along with others.
9. Thinks I am wonderful...but is realistic. I have my warts ~ but I want him to love me anyway.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney