Your questions are not unfair at all, Larry...we all want you (& everybody here) to be happy, & if we can help you find that in yourself, well...
I personally have fallen madly in love (& lust) with several ladies here, & the long-distance feelings can cut so deep...but it hurts so good
In your "goodbye" message you said you needed to work on your marriage...if you're truly having problems in your real life, the fantasy play that goes on here may seem so tempting...if you're starving at home, peering thru the window of the candy store can be unbearable...of course, I really don't know you that well, but from what I've seen you seem to be a nice guy, & you've certainly won over many of the ladies here
& there's always the possibility that I'm completely full of horseshit, but that's my brief take on your situation...

__________________
Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.