The problem, the real and maddening problem is in the nature of the love. I do fall in love, deeply, adolescently, completely in love as easy as rain falls to earth.

I can't seem to do what you all appear to do so well, that is, laugh and joke and play--even outlandish sexual play--with ease. All of this adult play does not seem to negatively affect the relationship of those who are in one. I assume that none of you get so attacted to someone else that he or she takes over your mind. I mean I can't stop thinking about... You guys appear able to play here from time to time and not allow it to disrupt your life.

Maybe that's not true. I could probably use some perspective here, please. I guess I'm asking for feedback again. I can be so needy and insecure. I hate that in myself.

How do you guys do it? How can you flirt here with each other and not fall for someone and then get all crazy because you know you and that person will never be together? Once that happens, how can you/I/we stay on the flirt/play level with such an ache inside for someone?

Sorry now you wanted me to stay, right. *weak laughter* These are unfair questions and I really don't anticipate much of a response. Also, I am probably falling too far away from the fun that this board is for. "Nice to meet you, I'm Mr. Serious Shit."

BTW: I still have a hard time not seeing you, not toughing you, not looking in your eyes, and seeing expressions, and noticing tone of voice. Just words on a screen...Yuck Fuck. I hate it. That's why I ramble. As long as I'm writing, I am with you, at least I pretend I am.

My new signature: SHUT UP LARRY.