Quote:
Originally posted by Loulabelle
Anthony, while I understand that you're trying to turn the word around to have a positive meaning, by giving a woman a label, based entirely on her libido is negating the point.
Women are sick and tired of being judged on the basis of their sexuality (whether for the worst or best).....we just simply want to be women, and for the most part, our sexual drives are all pretty similar to each other so why on earth single out some women who are perceived to have higher sex drives than others and label them 'sluts' (even in a good way).
Also, if we are going to have a 'positive' definition of the word slut in the future, how are we going to work out who that applies to? There are women out there who go along having lots of sex with lots of different people, for entirely the wrong reasons (showing no respect for themselves and certainly gaining none from their partners)......if we label these women sluts and say it's a good thing, won't it simply encourage them to go on behaving in an emotionally destructive way?
My comments earlier on in this thread, were directed at someone for whom I am concerned, as I'm not sure her motives are as clear cut as she thinks. I remember when Raven18 was on this site as a virgin despite being in a serious relationship with someone. They split up and she then lost her virginity to someone else, and has continued to have sex with several different partners since then. I'm not sure about the rest of you, but to me this smacks of a vulnerable and somewhat insecure person, trying to find some self worth by being 'popular' with the boys since her serious relationship ended. Unfortunately, I fear, that far from finding self worth and popularity, her vulnerable state is being taken advantage of by silly boys who want to experience sex without having to care about the person they're having it with. I can guarantee you those guys are not telling their friends about a wonderful sexually liberated woman who's in control of her life and her destiny and who's delightfully sexually open, they're telling their friends 'See that girl over there, I fucked her the other night, she'll do anyone'. That doesn't smack of mutual respect and appreciation to me.
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I respect and acknowlege all of your points, Loulabelle, but my intent wasn't to label all women with high sex drives as "sluts", nor was it to deny that many women do go into sex for the wrong reasons and get taken advantage of by men.
My point was simply that many women who are knowingly and consiously sexually assertive do inherit the "slut" label and redefine it in a positive way. In a way, it is similar to women who have taken the word "bitch" and turned it into a word of defiance and strength. Do you think, for example, that Annie Sprinkle is being degrading to women when she titles her series on her discovery of her own sexuality
Slut Goddess 101??? Or the authors of the anthology
The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Sexual Possibilities, from which I got my own definition of "slut"?? (BTW, their definition also includes men as well as women.)
Since I am new to this board, I have no reflection of Raven's sexual history, nor will I go into that, since that is not my business. But I must ask; what credentials do you have to make such a psychoanalysis of her??? And how can you claim to represent all women; while imitating that I represent all men??? I speak only for myself, and my opinions reflect my own personal philosophy..nothing more or less.
And I really do disagree with your base analysis as well; just because Raven might have been a bit less successful with her emotional relationships doesn't mean that she is neccessarily simply "sleeping around" due to lack of "self-essteem" and "self-respect". It seems to me that your analysis is based more on your preassumed biases about women wanting "emotional stability" while men just want to fuck and leave...in short, the classical conventional antipathy towards overly sexual women who don't match your personal beliefs.
Of course, you have every right to your views, Loulabelle; I simply am exercising my right to disagree with them. Most women may indeed be similar in their sexual lives; but that doesn't mean that we must deny and stigmatize those few who don't follow the trend. They are as capable of self-worth and self-respect as any other woman.
Like I said, probably not the best way to introduce myself to this board....but I had to comment on this.
Anthony