I read an interesting quote from Billy Connolly recently:

'Men need to make love to feel love, women need to feel love to make love'.

I think this is one of the biggest problems men and women face sexually and it's such a chicken and egg situation that it's very difficult to resolve.

My advice (speaking from personal experience of being in your wife's situation) is to shower her with genuine affection with no expectations of sex.....kiss her spontaneously when she's not expecting it, and when there isn't a chance of it turning into a sexual situation, for example in the car before you get out of it to go to the Supermarket, this way she'll know that you are not making an approach for sex, but just one for romance and love.

Tell her how much you love her and how beautiful she is, in a way that makes it clear you aren't just sweet talking her for sex, and don't expect instant results.....I'm thinking 3 months or so of totally laying off about the sex issue and making her feel like the most beautiful, sexy, wonderful woman in the world should start to make a difference to the way she sees herself and your relationship.

Finally, I'd say wait for her to make the first move, and when she does, spend hours and hours doing the things that please her, going at her pace. If she makes a move but then it doesn't go any further than kissing then so be it.

In short, I'd approach the situation as if you were both teenagers who'd just started dating and as if she were a virgin. Go slow and let her take the lead.

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