There's a difference between "easy" and "simple," I know. The problem is that while we have little or no control about what whom we love, we have complete control about what we do about those feelings. While it may not be easy, leaving this guy the hell alone is most definately simple. Which leaves me to believe that if it was what she really wanted, she'd do it.

But I can't get past the fact that she's 17. And I'm grateful to you for not using the tired old line about how she's "soooo mature for her age." She sounds like she's ACTING 17 as well. Which means that she's getting off on the drama and the attention. From both of you. She's learning about the emotions she's evoking in herself, for better or worse. And there is no power on earth that is going to stop her from making the mistakes that way deep down she wants to make.

What strikes me in what you've said is that there's internal evidence that you were WAY too old for her in the first place. You seem to think that this is something you can do something about. Something you can fix. You have to get your mind around the fact that you can't control the situation or the girl, for better or for worse. You can't. All you can do is tell her that you can't watch her hurt herself anymore, and that you're walking away from the situation completely. It gets you out of it, and it takes away part of the attention she's getting from the situation. It's as likely to draw her away from the even older guy as move her towards him.

But basically, she's got to do what's best for her in the long run instead of what she wants in the short run......which means she's got to grow up and get over the idea that she doesn't have control of her actions when emotions are involved. Growing up is what 17 year olds have to do. But it's not easy, and a lot of them have to get themselves well and truly hurt in the process. While it sucks, and I wish like hell that no-one had introduced her to the idea that dating much older guys was a good idea in the first place....they can really mess with a kid's head....it's not original for girls to act out like this, in my experience. And I'm not sure you're helping by playing the white knight/friend in her personal soap opera.

Take it for what it's worth.

G