Quote:
Originally posted by Incubated
Basically, I (24) love her (17) but she loves him.
Except that he (30) is way to old for her and has a kid - and she knows that he will only hurt her. again... (He also fucked a 14yr old when he was 24 and dated a 14yr old when he was 28, but I am working on burning him for that...)
Anyway, my advice has been to cut all ties - ignore and destroy everything that reminds her of him. (I'm stuggling to get over her, but when when the girl who tells you she wants to marry you fucks someone else less than a month later...well it helps ease the pain in an ironic sort of way.)
What else can she do?
(And how do I get the cops to take me seriously without implicating the girls or myself?)
|
I'm a therapist and not in the business of telling anyone what they
should do , but I will share a few thoughts that I had based on the info you provided (Take them for what you will.)
You state that you love her and this may be true, but I always have concerns when there is an age difference such as yours at the ages you are. Developmentally, socially and emotionally, the two of you are in very different places. Legal issues aside, I have rarely seen a relationship like this suceed. Not to say that it couldn't, but there are many factors involved that would suggest you may want to explore your own needs, desires and givings in relationships.
You are in a no-win situation in telling her what she should do to get over this guy. Firstly, she may not truly wish to be rid of him from what you've said about her actions. Secondly, explore your motivations for "helping her" as this may be brought up by her down the road. You should have it right in your head before continuing. No definitive right or wrong here, but having your own motivations straight will prove helpful for you.
What else can she do? If she is truly looking for support, there are many services out there. From counseling to the police. The former is something I'd highly recommend as it sounds like she needs to sort through some stuff.
As to your question about getting the cops to take you seriously without implicating the girls or yourself.... it is impossible. Should you choose this course of action, you will need to reveal all or assume that it will eventually come out.
Fred