Although I can't totally relate to your story, I have been to a similar place in my marriage. I have only been married to my husband for 3 1/2 years now and I feel the first 2 1/2 years were almost without any emotion or communication. Between finishing college and starting a new career our lives took on different paths and it was difficult to get them back on track. I would say that the most difficult part was coming to the realization that there really was a problem ... for both of us. My suggestion is to start dating your wife again. Get away from the kids and take her out on a date. Don't talk about the kids. Talk only about your aspirations and dreams, your favorite activities or foods. This will help you remember why you fell in love with her in the beginning by reliving it. My other suggestion is to kiss her everyday. Everytime you leave and when you return. Trust me, this was not easy for me and at times I felt like I had to force myself to kiss my husband. I also feel that kissing really helped to recreate that bond that we felt when we first met. Set aside about 20 minutes out of each day to communicate with your wife without the kids around. Make this time just for the two of you. Hope this helps and I wish you luck.