Dear blueraider,

First, consider hard all the feedback you have received from the intelligent, experienced, and caring people here at PP.

Second, I am in a similar situation. Talked about it with my wife, did massive counseling, and we decided to stay and keep working at it daily.

Third, think of love as a verb, not a noun. Love is more aptly defined as actions taken rather than emotions felt. Practice love until you get really good at it. In AA we say, "Fake until you make it." Perform acts of love, and love will blossom.

Fourth, I'm not suggesting this as a solution...well, maybe I am. Hell, I don't know. I am finding that flirting and fantasizing with the beautiful women here on PP helps. I can express my sexuality with them and feel a genuine response of acceptance and just enough to tease to set me ablaze. (If I turn to my wife who wants nothing to do with sex to help put out my fire, well, maybe...?) Mind you, this is all new for me, and I'm not sure where it will lead, but... It's a fun trip right now.

Fifth, loving you man. Ain't midlife just too cool? Hang in there a few more years, things and people change.

__________________
Being human is really a trip.