I hope I am never in your shoes. I am exteremly fortunate in the relationship I have with my husband. (I know it sounds corny, but he really is my soul mate.) But, if i were in your shoes, feeling the way I do about hubby-mine, I would be furious! Alcohol or not, whatever the excuse. That being said, I would do everything in my power to fix it: talk, counseling, sex therapy, WHATEVER it took. And I could also forgive.

To play a liitle devil's advocate, though, maybe she is not being totally honest with you bacause she is embarassed. Do you two have the kind of relationship where you can talk about things you are ashamed of without fear of a loss of respect? Sometimes poeple just CAN'T fess up out of sheer embarrassment. I agree with everyone else that you two should talk about it, but if there isn't honesty in the talk, it would be futile. And if you could never forgive her...that makes any discussion about her behavior futile, too. You would just be punishing her for hurting you.

Good luck.