BamaKyttn,

I really don't think you are nuts. I think all of us have had disturbing sexual thoughts that we might feel a bit ashamed of at one point or another. Remember:its just was just a random thought that disturbed you when you were 4-5 and you said it yourself that there is no basis for it in real life. Do you still have this desire? Maybe your friends/lovers have felt uncomfortable because they were playing off of your (possible) uncomfortness around him.