I'm so sorry Catch22. People shouldn't have to deal with stuff like this.

About the only words of advice I can offer is to support her with advice that is healthy for her, and to take care of yourself too.

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.