just received this in the email:

World's most sexest jokes
1/ Why did God create woman?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
2/ If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
The swallow
3/ How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
Phone her.
4/ Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.
5/ What is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is f-cking her.
6/ What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.
7/ What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak
8/ How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
9/ What's the difference between pre-menstrual tension and B.S.E?
One's mad cow disease, the other's an agricultural problem.
10/ Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator..
11/ What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.
12/ How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
13/ If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.
14/ How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!
15/ What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
16/ What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman
17/ Why do hunters make the best lovers?
Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot.
18/ How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
19/ How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick
20/ What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.
21/ How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike?
They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the
end you lose your house.
22/ Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
She knows she's given her last blow job.
23/ What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.
24/ What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After 10 years the job still sucks.
25/ What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
26/ Why is the space between a women's breasts and her hips called a Waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
27/ Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
28/ How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
29/ Why did the woman cross the road?
What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
30/ Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?
'cause it doesn't need cleaning yet

__________________
"I am so smart! S-M-R-T!" - Homer Simpson

The sun is gone, but I have a light - Kurt Cobain

~I love Nikki~