never the bride.
In the last few months, events have happened where I am now the last single girl among all of my friends. Everyone is now either married or will be married by mid-October, and some even have a child or two. While I am happy for my friends tying the knot, I can't help having mixed feelings.
I'm very torn between the pressure to now find a serious relationship and marry, yet I still crave the freedoms of not being in a committed relationship. I am back together with my last boyfriend, but purely for the sexual chemistry we had. The two of us know we don't have what it takes in other departments to end up together in the end. Right now in my life I need that physical relationship more than I want the additional emotional responsibilities of a serious relationship, but I know that will change very soon...it's something I can just sense.
I feel the pressures of settling down somewhat in the near future, so I don't end up an "old maid" or the last of my friends to marry and have kids. I certainly do want a family at some point in my life but know deep inside that I am not ready for that right now for many reasons. However, I feel like the pressure is continuing to build at an uncomfortable rate. My parents got married in their late 20's and began their family at age 30. I don't want to continue in their footsteps, and my friends certainly are adding to that pressure.
I don't know if part of this is related to being the last to marry or just losing my single friends and that lifestyle now. I don't feel jealous, just a tad bit sad and as I said, very pressured.
Any advice on how I can sort through these thoughts? Did any of you feel similar pressures? Do all women go through this??
