Well, I must say, there has been more response to this thread than I ever thought possible. First, I'd like to say thank you to everyone for all the wonderful things said here. It's very obvious that pixies is filled with very caring and loving people, thank you for everything.

curvyredhead- I'm sorry to hear of your lose. I chose to take experiences such as that and focus them towards making my life and peoples lives around me better for it.

Grumble - ditto

cowgirltease - bring on the lovin girl

Tess - It seems as though you've been able to see the behind the scenes type hell that I go through. The thing that is so hard for us is that we have a constant enemy, a constant war going on inside of us and the worst part is, that enemy is ourselves. We must focus on winning one battle at a time in order to win the war.

LixyChick - I wish your family luck in dealing with their problems. As far as the bud situation, I don't ever leave the house and if I do, I have to be buzzing a little at least. Next time you find yourself in that certain type of situation, just sit back, inhale, relax and enjoy your buzz. Everybody should be able to completely relax once in a while.

babybunny - no offense inteded, everyone is intitled to there own opinion.

Grumble - As of now, effexor is what I am on at this moment. It simply seems to help with my depression as well or better than other meds. However, my situation is a little fucked up since I also have an unusual immune system and end up needing to change medication about every 8 months because of it.

Again, thank all of you for your wonderful words of encouragement. I must say once again that I am fine now, this was all in the past. I haven't sliced for at least a year and my suicide issue is simply a constant thing that I have learned to handle in a way that it never gets too serious. Yes, I have a lot of stuff that is pretty messed up about me, but I'm living with it and I'm happy. The fact that we can have such a close knit family over the net make me even happier, thank all of you for everything.