((( silentsoul )))
Yes, it looks like you have been throught the ringer and back. My youngest daughter, Desire', is bi-polar manic depressive, and at war with the world and herself. Her roller coaster of emotion is always erratic, and always sudden. She is either on top of the world, or in a deep pit of despair.
In order to try to get a handle on things, we went to a local support group at the local mental health hospital. There was quite a group of VERY INTERESTING people in attendance. Some were manic, and wouldn't shut up. Others were depressed, and tried to become invisible.
But the one thing that struck me, was that all these unique people shared some common characteristics. Most all were extremely intelligent, creative in words and humor, and open and genuine human beings. Although they had tough afflictions to deal with, they excelled in some areas that "normal" people don't.
By your mastery of prose, I suspect you share some of those hyper-creative talents. Focus on those positive things that are by-products of your condition. I also encourage to be active in any similar support group that may be offered in your community.
You will find that you will be surrounded by people who will say, "I know exactly what you mean". And you will also find that you don't have to fight your battles alone.
Take care of yourself, and I'm pulling for you
