Yes, I did call that first time.. haven't called since. He wasn't home.. and I guess I took that as a sign...

the more I thought about it.... the more I felt that it would be unfair of me... to call him (or anyone else) and attempt any sort of relationship... I have alot of inner demons that I think I needto deal with... not to mention the outer issues I have as well...

until I do that.. deep inside of me.. I know that it would be unfair to consider involvement (at any level)... IF I were to truly care for someone... I wouldn't want to subject them to my issues...

call me a coward...