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actually that position is currently vacant but I am accepting applications
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OK here is my resume!
Cunning Linguist
Education:
Graduate from the Vedic School of Love Making where I majored in cunninglingus and digital manipulations.
Work History:
1996 - present Federal Breast Inspector LA and TX
I performed breast examinations for free to female freinds looking for lumps. If I found anything interested I gave an oral test to see if it was a tumor or just a nipple. Later on I also recieved oral sex when scientists discovered semen had anti-cancer properties.
2001 - 2003 Official Sex Toy Houston, TX
I was the official sex toy for a very young, busty Native American woman. I helped her with her depression and also would try to recruit others especially females for some help. I got lots of experience using toys and strange postions.
1993 - forever Horny Bastard All points on the Cartesian Plane
I specialize in telling ribald stories, educating virgins with sex tips and checking out women.
References not available on request as a gentleman never tells.