I've had a couple of real mood breakers - the first was at a girlfriends and I was giving it to her doggy style in the lounge in the early hours of the morning and her 5 year old daughter walked and asked what we were doing!!!

The second was in August just gone at a festival where I had got lucky. I was busy fucking this lady in her tent when her jack russell terrier decided to join in and started licking my balls. It made me jump a mile and the shock killed my hardon stone dead and that was it for the night.

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What is life?
If not an excuse for death,
and what is death,
if not an escape from life?