Well let's see!

1) There have been a few times where I would find poo on my dick because my ex-fiancee didn't wipe so well.

2) One time my ex fiancee was riding me in a motel room. She grabbed the headboard as leverage and just as she was about to have a big o she ripped the head board off the wall and it hit me on the head.

3) One time my ex-fiancee and I were fucking in my car at a ball park. When all of a sudden head lights came by, and not risking going to jail we quickly got dressed and realized it was not a cop, but most likely another teenage couple looking for a place to park. It didn't really kill the mood per se, but the thrill of gettign caught was a huge turn on to her. So much in fact that for the rest of the night we would find public places to go fuck in my hometown. The best one was making out and fingering her in a convinence store in a back isle out of sight form the cashier.

4) Eating out a 17 y/o girl when I was 21 and when it came time to stick it in she said she had to be home soon because her dad would get mad. Then I found out her dad was a cop who ran my plates.

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Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.