Nurse Tracie,

I have read all of this thread and I am most impressed at what has gone on,
First you had a problem and asked advice and got supportive answers from concerned people who cared about you enough to try to help.

I too would have said evaluate you relationship from your first post.

But you read what was said and then thought about it and was able to put it all into perspective.

The answer is to talk about it with your man and if you dont like it find an alternative that is acceptable.

The other thing is the rape. You are doing remarkably well. I am a male rape victim, at 16 in the air force and the effects it has had on my life has been profound. When it happened in the late 60's well no one talked about rape much and the female victims were stigmatised unfairly. As for it happenning to a male, well that was absolutely ignored and whilst I have learned to live with it, it will always be there.

It has though in some ways made me a better person. I really care about people and their feelings and with a sexual partner I always make it an act of giving and sharing rather than merely taking pleasure. I suppose I get a sense of safety from an intimate embrace with a female. I feel whole when we have shared an orgasmic time.

I wish you all the best and hope that you will again share a problem among friends because it is a healthy way of solving it.

To all the responders here, you are good people and it reinforces my view that nice people like sex too.

Sorry for being a bit emotional, but this sort of kindness touches me right in the core.

GG