Teddy Bear and Nikki1979, shame on both of you.

Danziggy, it seems to me that your partner wants the excitement

of the fling, but also the security of your support.

Putting your career (and life) on hold so she can maximise her

social and employment position is your choice. Either you live with

it or you live without it. The children of parents who were miserable

with each other have a poor role model for their own emotional

health and happiness.

Harming yourself would devastate the children.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating