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First, I am saddened to hear about your rape. No one should ever go through anything like that what so ever. That was a very personal moment and it is good to hear that you were able to overcome that.

My wife and I have a deal. Regardless how tired or whatever we are doing, if one of us wants it, the other will comply to the other needs. It works in both of our favor. I can go down on her for as long as she can stand it. Your man should be happy that you had fulfilled a request that he had of you allowing him to cum in your mouth. My question is this, what would it matter to him if you swallowed or not?? If I cum in my wife and if she wants me to go down on her, I will still lick her sweet pussy even if it had both of our love mixture in her. It makes her go wild when I do. Would he not kiss you or think less of you if you did swallow? I wouldn't be embarrased about it if I was you. You would make me proud if you were my lady and you swallowed for me and that is what he should be of you.
Now for him getting his jollies and not giving yours, he should had overcome his tiredness and tooken card of his beautiful lady. Next time, let him know that you are hot and you need to get your fix. If he doesn't comply, then there is another topic you and him need to talk about.
I wish you well.