Sometimes the sort of change up you describe (working myself up to the edge and then changing to some other sort of stimulation) will actually delay my orgasm. Great way to tease me, sometimes .

Jenna said it, relax, enjoy the exploration, it doesn't happen for everyone right away. If you're stressed over whether or not your going to have one, or if you're doing it right, you're probably not going to. It's also not unusual for women not to orgasm from vaginal penetration. You may need clitoral stimulation while he's in you, or to take turns...him getting you off manually or orally before or after (or both!) full on sex.

In any case, enjoy what you do have...and please don't let your partner feel inadequate just because you haven't managed to cum rergularly with him yet. Male egos are delicate things.