I know, I know, there are soo many things that I didn't think of, You all make excellent points, I thought i had things figured out and I would just stick with my initial thought. It seems that everything fell apart in my life when I left home for no other reason than to be independant, and its great that i acheived that, but what happened is that I created 3 people that depend on me. I have to clean, cook, organize the bills and everything else, and I guess its the materialistic part that bothers me the most. My friend is making the payments, but life isn't all about the money, I stayed away from the apartment for 5 weeks and went back yesterday and found the place to be an absolute disaster area, I spent all day cleaning, and thought to myself, I bascially took the place of these guy's mothers. Now i wonder to myself, Was i that blind? That neive? That stupid? 5 weeks away and now i feel like a totally different person than i was for the last 9 months.

I really think had i gone to the apartment without thinking about it and with your thoughts in mind, i really would have blown up. But i stayed calm cleaned up and now am home (in my house) and regrouped and am really thinking about the next step I will be taking.

I am glad I posted this here and thank you too all of you for sharing your thoughts with me, they have helped in ways you may not have thought possible. I lost the only friend that I was able to discuss things like this and its good to know that I still have a place to vent/discuss these things, if not, I think I may have gone nuts.

Thanks,