Hello Kittylicious ((Big Hug)) I feel for you, I feel your pain.
This is my opinion, and my story.
First of all ,just so you know, I am a guy and I do love women, and it hurts me to see a lady crying over something like this.
I too have a very busy life-style. I work nights until early mornings.
I do love computers and spend 3 to 4 hours on it. But I also shut it down and live-life. I also paint, I am an artist. I also love to read, and write and travel alot. I also love to enjoy the nightlife as much as possible on my days off. I also love to make love, as much as I can make it happen.
So there is NO WAY that your "loved-one" can say he doesnīt feel anything for you, or worse, say he doesnīt have the time. Thatīs ALOT of bullshit. If you donīt love sex... then I guess your impotent! I sure hope for your sake that he is Not impotent!
But letīs get REALLY serious here... you have mentioned that, I quote you, "I actually think he is a bit confused sexually because alot of his porn is gay porn." Alright then, you have just found out his secret, most wanting, desires. I have read alot of books on the human-mind, psychology mostly. Ilove to see what makes people "tick" inside. One of the things I ave found out is that certain people tend to slowly balance their sexual desires (needs) towards the other way. Have you might consider that your boyfriend is slowly becoming gay? I am NOT kidding!
Í am not saying that you are not a desirable woman, Iīm not. I am quite sure I could make you an hungry-wolf in sheeps clothing, that much I can say. You are a very active person, you have this sexual-drive inside of you. BUT your partner does not. He has got his mind on something else... heīs day dreaming.
I work late nights, and sleep in the mornings. Wake up and after lunch, I work again till 3 on the computer, in photoshop, either doing publicity for other companies, or moderating 4 other sites on the internet. Iīm a very well known faker world-wide on the web sao itīs my little hobby apart from painting on canvas in real life also... but I always find the time to enjoy life and be with the person I love. I worship any woman that is with me, and will do anything to please her. Because I love to please. You have tried it with him too... but didnīt get a reaction from him. Over the years you have fought hard to make the relationship work, but it always comes to a stand still.
That is very bad, in my book (my opinion).
You must find someone who cares. Who cares about YOU. Someone who is willing to "listen" to you. Admire you, just for being YOU. Care about you and say to your eyes constantly "I need YOU". Someone to look at you and say this... hereīs a movie monologue I dug up for you to read what I am trying to say...
As Good As It Gets (movie)
Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson)I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence", and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me.
I tell you that if a guy does not get turned on by a woman undressing in front of him... then there is a serious problem.
One trick you could always try (and it has been said here already) is try to seduce him. Slowly and carefully choosing the right seduction act, can turn things around. Send Him flowers at work. Buy him a cool-looking underwear and tell him to wear it for you. Seduce him with food. Go out to dinner more often. Go to the movies. Go to the beach more often. Find out by talking to him, what makes him "tick" sexually. What he loves, and what makes him turn on. Tell him what YOU want..what YOU need from him.
Remenber ALWAYS that no one is born with a field manual on how to behave with the opposite sex. No one is really quite sure about anything until you ask. You have to talk, you have to make those fantasies come true. Everyone is ALWAYS looking for somekind of a "fantasy". Either it be sexual or in the mind. make it come true. - Remenber that old movie with Kim Bassinger called "9 1/2 weeks"?? - ...we ALL have fantasies we would love to come true. One way to acomplish them is to "LIVE THEM", and not just be stuck in front of a computer. try to seduce that "lover" of your again. If that really does not work... I am really sorry to say... But itīs time to move on.
It hurts to have to leave. But there are many fish in the sea, remenber that also. Find your happiness and youīll be happy for the rest of your life, otherwise you will end up an old maid, wondering why, and that life could have been much better.
These are my humble opinions, Iwish not to see you cry again.
Your much prettier when you light up the mornings with your sunshine-smile
