I agree with you on your points Prophet. And I wasn't saying that there was whining going on... just a mututal experience sharing... which isn't wrong because sometimes a person can lean from that.

Perhaps I should have been more clear on what I was sharing. A little over 5 years ago, I was dating a nice guy. He was as you described....shy, introverted, and yes a victim. He allowed other's perceptions and his "history" to cloud our relationship in the beginning and was willing to give up rather than go after what he wanted.

I thank God that I was not, nor am I, an introvert or shy. Because I knew what I wanted (him), I went after him and I got him. We have been happily married now for 5 years.

I often wonder....... if I had been a "nice" girl with all of the conotations that go with the description (shy, introverted - expecting rejection without trying) .... if we would be together today? Probably not.

So, when I said - Quit being a victim, that is what I was meaning.... don't allow stereotypical perceptions of how a "nice" guy is perceived to stand in your way of happiness.

My definition of "getting some balls" is this - motivate yourself do achieve success, become determined to be able to work toward what you want! If you see a woman standing there, make a point of saying hi, or making some sort of a connection. If you are denied, then you haven't lost anything for trying! But you do have to try........

__________________
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.