It's all been said, but sometimes repetition helps us believe the truth.

It sounds like you went through hell, and I'm sorry for that. But I think you're right...when pain heals, it does it on its own time table. You're right to deal with yours by your own rules, according to what feels right to you, and not by anyone else's.

Dating two guys at the same time does not make you a slut. Dating five guys at the same time does not make you a slut. Dating five guys in the same night does not make you a slut (just incredibly busy). There is no rule that after a guy buys you dinner, he has any reason to expect exclusivity. All he gets is the pleasure of your company, a graceful thank you at the end, and whatever else you choose to offer. Which you obviously already know. You're being honest with these guys, you're treating both them and yourself with honestly, respect and dignity. So long as that's true....you have nothing to be upset or ashamed about, so far as I can see.

Anyone who says different needs to pay more attention to their own problems and less to everyone elses.

As far as the questions you asked at the end of your post...it's entirely possible that you're right about ALL of them to one degree or another. They're not mutually exclusive options. But to a large extent, I think they only matter insofar as this label is bugging you. Let go of that, and they become trivia, IMHO.

So my advice, for what it's worth, is to relax. Enjoy the ride. "Kiss" as many boys as you want. And IF you're ever ready for another deep dive into monogomy, you'll know long beforer the gossips do.