Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post - Something to offend everyone

oh and if you really wanna start offending people:-

5 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH :
1.Seduce women by your accent alone.
2.Eat food like snails and frog's legs and not be considered deviant.
3.You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
4.You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
5.People expect you to be rude, obnoxious and totally self interested.

5 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
1.Have a woman president without electing her.
2.You can bastardise English spelling and vocabulary and get away with it.
3.The constitution guarantees your right to a firearm.
4.Money and fame will get you elected to anything even if senile or stupid.
5.Trade in arms and destroy small nations and claim to be defending world freedom.

5 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
1.Travel Europe as a soccer hooligan.
2.Drink warm beer and not be considered a tosser.
3.Confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
4.Wearing the union jack on your arse is actually cool.
5. Live in the past and imagine you are still an empire.

5 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN :
1.It takes less than 2 hours to travel across Belgium in a fast car.
2.Just to north is the Netherlands, windmills and pros in windows.
3.Just to south is France, Paris, garlic and wine.
4.Just to the east is Germany and the Schlieffen plan.
5.Just to the west is Britain and the Oostend Ferry.

5 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :
1.In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2.Unembarrassed to wear fur, leather or G-string.
3.No need to worry about tax returns.
4.Glorious military history... well, till about 400 AD.
5.Wear sunglasses inside.

5 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :
1.Be a part of the culture whose greatest film export is Manuel the waiter from Barcelona.
2.Perve at all the nudies from Denmark, Holland and Germany on the beaches.
3 Belong to the country most Moroccans prefer to live in.
4.Make crap paella and sell it to the tourists.
5.Be sexy by dressing in tight clothes with sequins and waiving a red cape in front of a bloody great bull. Then eat their testicles.

5 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
. . . .(we'll get back to you on this one)

5 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN :
1.Chicken Madras
2.Lamb Passanda
3.Onion Bhaji
4.Prawn Tikka Masala
5.Rogan Josh

5 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH:
You've got to be having a laugh boyo, haven't you?!?!?!?

5 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
1.Guinness.
2.Get into a fight and kill people just by marching down someone's road wearing the wrong colour.
3.The most important town building is the pub.
4.Use Papal edicts on contraception to convince your girlfriend to have sex without a condom.
5.Tell tall stories about small leprechauns and get blind drunk.

5 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :
1.It beats being an American.
2.Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
3.Enjoy winter 10 months a year.
4.Kill Grizzly bears with a blunderbuss and cover your house in their skins.
5.Did we tell you that we're the only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

5 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN :
1.Have an ancestor who was a conman, forger or thief.
2.Live in a country that started out as a prison.
3.Annihilate England at cricket.
4.Enjoy the sun and get skin cancer later in life.
5.Live in the culture whose most famous festival is the Gay Mardi-Gras.

5 REASONS FOR BEING A NEW-ZEALANDER :
1.Australia is only 2 hours away by plane.
2.Australia has a tolerant policy towards those fleeing New Zealand.
3.A rugby team that occasionally beats the Aussies.
4.Poke your tongue and bear your behind to the Queen and not get arrested.
5.12 million sheep - that's 3 per person folks.