I know this is an old thread but I just came across it.

Two good sites to check out:

www.castlerealm.com

www.novicium.com

I'm pretty sure they've been posted before. Research/read and then communicate with your SO. Talking , honesty, trust and love are probably the most important things in any type of relationship but even more so in a D/s relationship. (just my opinion)

Good luck!
Teddy