Why am I so mad at him whenever I know he is watching Asian porn pictures from the internet?
I told him million times he can watch Cacausin porn females BUT NOT asian females. Because I am asian and I don't like him watching asian, coz i hate the fact that those bitch looks kind of sexy on those pix, so that is why he might compare me and those other asian. coz i am also asian too. But i don't mind him watching cacausin, i don't get jealouse at all.
It had been 4 years already, almost every year at this time, I found out that he keep a new links of asian bitch sites. I hate it so much. He told me he won't watch asian females sites, but he still doing that.
every time i got mad of him for this issue, i kicked him out of the bed at night, i don't let him sleep on the same bed as me. I don't even let him sleep as well. If he sleep in the sofa by hiself, i keep making noise i didn't sleep well as well. i don't want to let him sleep when i can't fall as sleep because of this stupid asian bitch stuffs. last night i we talked about that issue again coz last week i saw he keep a link, and when he knews that i know coz i ask him what is that. Then he deleted it right away after he knows i know. But i still mad from last Wednesday until today, almost a week already. why can't i get rid of this thoguht in my mind? why can't i accept this??????????? i just feel bad i told him that i don't like you to look at other asian more better than me. he told me that,"there is always someone out there who is better than me and you, that is life" When i heard that i even get mader I know there is always somone out there who is better than you, i know that no one is perfect but i hate when he is telling me the true, it makes me mad.
This problem had been discuss and fight for more than 4 years already , but it goes no where.
now why am I thinking like that all the time? is that because i am not working and i have too much free time on my hands that is why i keep diging out bad stuffs to fight?don't forget i hate fighting over this stupid porn issue. When ever he mad at me he said you should go to work, but whenever he is not mad at me, he said i don't have to go to work, is good to stay at home. i want to work as well., but look like i didn't see any job that i like and same as my hubby. he doesn't really like me to work for those jobs that i don't like.
now what is going on about myself? am i crazy?