I agree that cowgirl is NOT the only position in which the woman can be in charge. I had a partner who never was the aggressor; no matter what position we were in, I was the one doing the thrusting (including when I was flat on my stomach or in the spoon position with him behind me). That's the way he wanted it.

With my present partner, I love when, in the missionary position, he raises up almost as if he were going to do a pushup, and he stays still. Then I'm the one who does the thrusting, deciding how fast and how hard that thrusting will be. One of the last times we did that, he said he was going to come if I continued doing what I was doing. I loved pushing the envelope even more to make him come. I loved that feeling of power.

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Communication is the key.