If you think about the fact that the majority of the nerve endings that are giving men their orgasms are on and around the head of their penises and that the equivalent nerve endings for women are on their clits, is it any wonder that about a third or more of all women do NOT come unless their clits receive some type of stimulation and that just penetration of their vaginas isn't enough? Personally I think female anatomy is really screwed up (no pun intended); females would be better served to have those nerve endings located inside their vaginas. I guess somewhere somebody thought that having massive orgasms during vaginal delivery of a baby was NOT a good idea and chose to place those nerve endings elsewhere. People often think that the pulling of the labia during vaginal intercourse and the bumping of the clit that can occur during intercourse will be enough stimulation to trigger an orgasm. Not so for many of us. How easily could you come from someone tugging on your nuts or just licking them or from an occasional bump or lick of the head of your penis, but no continuous stimulation there?

What is sad is that so many people, such as your friend and her ex-friend, seem to feel that there is something wrong with her, something that needs to be remedied. There are ways to try to make it happen, but what I think is most important is to realize that she really isn't "broken"; she's quite normal. It's just the design that's screwed up.

Now, there are lots of kinds of orgasms. Like Lilith mentioned, there are A-spot orgasms, G-spot orgasms, clitoral orgasms, ones triggered by stimulation of other areas (ass, breasts, etc.) but with no touching of the vulvar area. And then there are blended orgasms--ones that involve stimulation of more than one erogenous zone, such as clit and G-spot. For most of us women, though, the strongest orgasms of all originate in our clits, which means SOME kind of stimulation there. (My personal favorites are blended--clitoral and G-spot or A-spot.)

My biggest hope for your friend is that the next time she has a lover, someone who really does care about her, he or she is knowledgable and understanding and accepting enough of her the way her body is wired to work with her to help her achieve the greatest pleasure in a way that is really best for her and to not make her feel like she is abnormal when she most definitely isn't.

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Communication is the key.