Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post

Forgive me for rambling.....I am TOTALLY out of it tonight!!

Anyway....... for me, it was my "first love" ... Marion. I met her at college..... me 17, her 22..... a match made in heaven!! NOT!! She taught me what is was/is to love a woman.. in ALL senses of the word! I adored her, and would have done anything for her, at the time! As it turned out, what she wanted was a baby of her own.... and she'd picked ME to provide it!! (Why? I don't know, to this day!!) Anyway, she duly managed to get pregnant... and "fucked me off" as soon as she found out! So there I was... 17, and a "dad to be", with NO rights or say in what was to happen.
She went back to live with her parents; seems I was EVERY "bad bastard" that ever lived.... I saw my daughter once, for about half an hour, when she was 6 months old. What I DIDN'T know was.. Marion was a junkie - hooked on Heroin and speed - which impacted on Claire (my daughter) ... the ultimate result of THAT was, Claire died 5 years ago, of liver/kidney failure; she'd been plagued with problems with these all her life! (I didn't find all this out til AFTER she died). She was 17 years old.
The whole episode of her death had a profound effect on me; it was the "beginning of the end" for my wife and I; she wasn't there for me (literally, she was 200 miles away) and I went to pieces for months! I turned to other women for help & support..... a BAD mistake, on reflection.
But....... every cloud has a silver lining, so they say..... now I am in love with a wonderful woman (Celticangel) who accepts me despite my faults & foibles, as I accept her; she has had her own problems, and we support each other about these, as well as sharing our own, special, love.
If it wasn't for all these women in my life, I wouldn't be the person I am today; someone I'm happy with, and who someone I love, cherish and respect can call her man.

Sorry to go on so..... it just seemed the right time to vent!!

DM