You guys are just so fantastic! Thank you so much for all the advice, well wishes, and prayers. I am overwhelmed! This is precisely why I finally opened up. I knew I could count on you, one and all!

Typically when a eulogy is read, one speaks of all the achievements and selfless acts of random kindness a lost loved one had performed during his/her lifetime. My brother had very few redeeming qualities. I'm not dissing my own brother, but speaking the truth. And I understand when you say to remember the good times.......as I am clinging to those with everything in me.

Yes, there were wonderful times. My brother could play a mean guitar. He taught me everything I know ( I should have practiced more) and he was the one who told me I had a serious singing voice. He loved my range and versatility and asked me to sing while he played nearly everytime we would hang out together. He had a wonderful sense of humor (when not clouded by drugs and alcohol) and we'd banter and laugh till I nearly pee'd my pants. And without ever having a fomal lesson, he could draw the most beautiful pictures of places he's seen, from memory, and when you looked at these scenes you'd think you were there at sometime in your life.

His very troubled adulthood was the hardest part to bypass or gloss over when writing about him. But I managed to take all the good and bad and (without lying or omission) pen a eulogy that I think is presentable. I'm going to sing Greenday's "Time of Your Life...Good Riddance" at the end of the eulogy. A friend of my brother's will play guitar just as I finish the reading and I hope I am not crying as I break into song. Just after the song, my nephew will stand, and in full Native American dress, perform a dance for the passing spirit.

When we finally get his ashes from San Mateo, we will take a trip to Ohio to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. All his life, Tommy had aspirations of "making it big". My brother would have never wanted to be buried, so I had an idea that I think the family likes. Without permission......as I figure I would meet with tons of resistance......I am going to sprinkle the ashes into potted plants in the museum. Now, the plants will either wither and die for some "unknown" reason or they will grow and exeed all expectation for some "unknown" reason....but I figure, either way it will be the plant caretaker who will be blamed or congratulated. I am hoping it's the latter. Whenever we speak of brother in the future, we can honestly say........"Oh yes! Tommy is in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame"! I just know he is smiling at the notion!

*hugs to all*

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~