Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post - sharing your partner and love, does one effect the other

Thanks for your response Lixychick, I was beginning to wonder if the people at pixes where afraid of the tough questions.
You are right my wife was questioning her love for me at the time of the affair, we both where. We married very young and had our first child just a year later, so we where a little overwhelmed with life and where wondering if all this was not a big mistake. I new that I wanted us to stay together, but was having trouble dealing with all the new changes. We just got so tied up in work and the baby that we stopped paying attention to each other, as a result we drifted apart. Well after she turned 21 she started to go out to the bars with her friends from work. I could not go because of the baby, well to shorten things up some she told me she had feelings for this older man she worked with, she told me she wanted to have sex with him, she had only had 1 other partner besides myself. Now I was not to happy about this because has bad as our marriage had been going I was afraid she would leave me outright, so we talked it over and I gave her permission to be with this older guy. After they had been together she told me it all had been a big mistake and that she was sorry and it would never happen again. I was ok with this situation and was relived that it was over. Wrong after a couple of weeks she started to see this guy again outside of work, she assured me that they where just friends and that it was just a group of people from work. Well that’s where the lies and deception started they saw each other for about a year be fore he got to possessive of her and started to push her into leaving me so they could get married. That’s when she finally woke up and realized what she was doing and broke things off. Now I knew each time they went out or saw each other whether it was at his place or ours, she keep assuring me nothing was going on that they only slept together the one time of course it was all bullshit and we fought about it all the time. There was plenty of evidence they where having sex, she even slipped one night and called me his name. Well again to shorten things up, once she made up her mind and decided to break it off she sit me down one night and told me everything. We talked about how we both felt, we cried a lot, we made up, but we never just forgot about it and pretended that it never happened. I mean that would just be another lie, I tell my wife all the time that they way I look at the world is that I regret nothing in life the bad thing that happen to a person helps define who we are just as much as the good things. I tell her that my love for her grows each day and how I love her more now than the day we married. And since she experienced this ordeal it has made an impact on who she is today. I would not change one thing about her.
I understand what you mean about projecting her feelings and doubts onto me, I have repeatedly told her I don’t feel the same way she does about what happed. But I suppose its human nature to judge others by ones own beliefs.
Our life together is stronger than ever and we have no doubt that we will not spend to rest of our lives with each other. It just kind of stabs you in the heart when your other half questions your love.

Well it is late and I am going to bed, thanks again for listening lixychick.