HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMEN

1- Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2- Walk to the bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3- Look at your womanly physique in the mirror- make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4- Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, and pumice stone.
5- Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6- Wash your hair again to make sure its clean
7- Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave in hair for 15 minutes.
8- Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9- Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and juffa cake body wash.
10- Rinse conditioner out of hair.
11- Shave armpits and legs.
12- Turn off the shower
13- Squeegee of all wet surfaces in the shower. Spray mold spots with Telex.
14 Get out of the shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15- Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16- Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17- If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

1- Take off clothes while sitting on the edge off the bed and leave them in a pile.
2- Wak to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake your wiener at her making the "woo woo" sound.
3- Look at your manly physique in the miror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
4- Get in the shower.
5- Wash your face.
6- Wash your armpits.
7- Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8- Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9- Spend the majority of the time washing privates and surrounding area.
10- Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck in the soap.
11- Shampoo your hair.
12- Make a shampoo mohawk.
13- Pee.
14- Rinse off and get out of the shower.
15- Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on the floor because the curtain was hanging out of the tub the entire time.
16- Admire wiener size in the mirror again.
17- Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on the floor and the lights and fan on.
18- Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull towel off, shake wiener at her and make the "woo woo" sound again.
19- Throw wet towel on the bed

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CAPTIVATE MY ATTENTION, POSSESS MY BODY, INVADE MY MIND, ROCK MY WORLD AND, CALL ME "YOUR" BITCH... YOU KNOW MY HUNGER, YOU OWN MY DESIRE, YOU HAVE MY WILL, TAKE ME BABY... DIVINE PLEASURE