you know ya want this pun-spewin harpy....*lixxxx and tosses ya another one for the road*

Once upon a time there was a community that was hassled by friars forcing people to buy flowers at gunpoint. The whole town was in an uproar. "What do we do?" they wondered.

The town alcoholic suggested that his cousin Hugh could rectify the situation. Sure enough Hugh took care of the problem. The moral of the story: Hugh and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."