I guess I'm the rude one in the group .... LOL .... I don't usually show up with extra things, though I try to always offer to bring something when I receive and/or accept the invitation ... sometimes I go a bit early and help with prep or stay a bit late and help with clearing away and think of that as a contribution, my friends and I are all in situations where cash isn't always on hand and we're all in agreement about wanting to pay off our debts and not incur new debt .... so we kind of have a thing going where if we want to celehbrate something or just spend time together, we figure out if anyone has a bit of reserve cash at that moment and the celebration is done with part of that....its an even trade off over time so it works good for us. ... and I always keep a bunch of blank cards around my place so I can write whatever message in it that applies, I buy them whereever I find them cheap (hmmmmm is there a "cheap" theme going on here ...LOL), which for a child ... I would throw either cash in or pull something from my stash of little things I pick up through the year.