Sound words..... I should know... I've said them to others enough... I am a hypocrit it appears though... its so much harder in practice... I've helped people before.... but most wind up not talking to me after awhile... or in some cases hating me for an unrelated incident.... or in this case... they just... can't speak to me again... *sigh* I try my hardest to help others make them happy... but I always get the big screw in the end.... I've always had troubles... since the 1st grade... if not late Kidnergarten... that is when I started to be tormented and started to be like I am now... I mean I can't HELP how I feel.... not today... eventually maybe.... but for every year of pain... it seems like it will take two more to fix... that means if all of it stopped today right now... it would take almost 24 years to fix my thoughts.... and I can't help I was getting better... I was feeling better about myself... but... I still wasn't able to be what I wanted to be... I still... wasn't... able to help the people... no... I wasn't able to help Kristin like I wanted to... it seems... I don't know I am better I guess.... on and off.... I just try not to think about it.... it worked when my dad died... it work when I lost my (at the time) only friend... he was just a puppy to.... its sad... that I should find friendship from an animal... where people seem to of shun me... he was a cute pup though... hehe.. smart.. looked like Einstein LOL!.... Yea it may not seem like much and in essence its not... but I love my pets... and especially my dogs... its bad enough my first dog (who was as old as I was in Human years) got cancer and had to be put to sleep.... but to have my 2nd dog (the puppy of my bro's dog) and his sister ran over.... ahh well... I am trying to focus less on what hurts more... hence my rambling on my pets... heh