I do not want you to get bored with my own story, but I think I had a similar case with my wife. The one that I know today was not the one I got married with. In my opinion she was completely masked before. I couldn´t see her real personality.
Although this is tough stuff to cope with it has something positive: Now I am looking with open eyes who the other person is.
Trust IS necessary for a relation, and for no relation exists a guarantee. It will always be a risk.

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If every material thing is gone, my smile and my tears stay left.