i know that in the example of my second ex and i there are two good examples. first while we were dating i had many traumatic things happening in my life and couldn't put in the effort to maintaining the relationship. (bitter custody battle,grandmother's death and my mom got locked up) after i got my head back on straight i went back and appologized. we continued on to marriage. then we lived together. between the two of us our families and all we couldn't live together. she didn't want to be married and live apart. when we divorced she told me that she never wanted to see or hear from me again. this was because this would be painful and she didn't want the pain. not sure if this helps but thought with two examples of how this happens you might be able to continue on your way without souring

__________________
i'm funnier looking