Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post - What's With You Men, Anyway????

Well, I do have an explanation for my husband's behavior the night we were supposed to head back to Michigan........

The next day he came to me and said "You really like it here in Missouri, don't you?" I told him that he was absolutely right, I definitely love it out here. Then he stunned me by telling me, with tears in his eyes, that he didn't feel the same. He said he felt out of place here, like he didn't belong here. I was shocked! I asked why he waited until we'd already made a deposit on a place to live to decide he didn't like it here. He said he was trying to give it a fair chance before he made up his mind. I really didn't know what to say or do....we were both in tears. I suggested to him that we treat the year that we signed the lease for as an "extended vacation" and that we evaluate our situation at the end of the year and decide at that point what we want to do.
He agreed to that. Then we went back to Detroit to get as much of our stuff as we could fit into our van. Once we got there, and it snowed a couple of inches and got extremely cold, he told me, "You know, the more I'm here, the better I like it there."
I said I wished he'd make up his mind. But then he told me that he knew he would know for sure how he felt once we had gotten back home. So, it seems that he's sure now that he DOES like it here after all and wants to remain here permanently. THANK GOODNESS!! But his silence and non-responsiveness was because he was troubled and didn't know how to tell me, and I think OF was right....shut it out and then you don't have to deal with it.

So, Lixy Dear...no, he has no suspicions that I've strayed. I think I'm still safe on that count. And he has been like this for years. But like I said, I think OF hit the nail on the head. We have a son who reacts this way too. Anything that's too hard for him to deal with, "ignore it, and it might go away." I have to cut him some slack on what you call his "self-centered" attitude. He learned many years ago to turn off his feelings, stuff them as far down inside as possible. He learned this "art" courtesy of the U.S. Marine Corps. I can understand why they have to learn to do this, but it saddens me to know that they are never taught how to reverse this when they leave military service.