Oh Stefan,

Such sad news hun! I am so sorry you have to experience this on top of everything.

It is said there is a reason for everthing and to everything a season and a time. I can only assume that the revelation of suddenly finding out that your first love had comitted suicide is a clear message directed to you. It's not a coincidence that you stumbled upon this knowledge at this particular point in you life.

You could have found this out long ago , when your feelings of wanting to see her were beckoning you to her. But you didn't then. And just when you needed a sign.......a realization that life IS worth living and that the pain would be gone for you but those you left behind would suffer, you discover that exact emotion in the loss of your first love. Coincidence? I think not Stefan!

I am so sorry for your loss hun! I wish I could help you through the pain in some way. I think the best I can do is say that she must have known your feelings on some level to have this knowledge fall to you in your time of need of inspiration. Take this as a true sign that you are meant to go on and that there is light at the end of the tunnel for you!

*hugs n hugs again*

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~