06-02-2011, 10:24 AM
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Causer of Unrest
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,005
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You could do those 14 steps. Or, you know, you could have an honest conversation with your partner about your needs, their needs, and how all can be accommodated in a safe, considerate, ethical manner, and go from there, with both halves of the couple making informed decisions. It's always baffling to me how some people can get their minds around cheating with so little difficulty, but being poly is just too bizarre to consider because it defiles the "sanctity" of monogamy. I suppose it's because it requires you to be a grown-up and be responsible for your crap and considerate of others.
ETA: I'm not saying there's anything wrong with monogamy; but if one partner decides they're not going to be monogamous, they owe it to the other to give them a heads-up beforehand, so that that person can decide if they want to be in that kind of relationship. Opening your marriage without all principals involved knowing it's open is an asshole move.
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