03-25-2011, 09:42 PM
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Causer of Unrest
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,005
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I honestly don't know how you go about finding someone; it's hard enough to find one someone to have a relationship with. If you add a level of difficulty by wanting to find someone who is a) cool with you being married and not sneaking around, and b) wants to have a relationship with BOTH of you, it gets harder. I am married and had another true love, but I wasn't looking for him. He just sort of happened into my life, and because my husband and I had done the work to be able to accept and work with that eventuality, it worked. However, my lover was not in relationship with both of us; he had a respectful friendship with my husband and a relationship with me.
All that said, you can go on dating sites and list yourself as in an open relationship, or polyamorous, looking for a third. You'll have to sift the wheat through the chaff, as in any kind of dating. You should also know that single women to be a third are in very high demand, and can afford to be choosy (as they should be, and as should you and your hubby). It isn't easy, and it will take a fair amount of self-reflection and a huge amount of good communication. But it can be done.
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