Thank you all for your words of advice and things to think about. I spoke to another friend and got some good advice from her as well. I also looked inside myself, and from the outside at myself for the first time since this all started. After hearing my wife say just one time "I hope you know how much I love you." I realized that I had been temporarily insane in remembering how it felt to be a teenager in love for the very first time. I do know how much she loves me. I also know how much I love her.
Upon realizing that, I also knew that I did still have feelings for my first love. However, we had a long talk. I realized that those feelings are not completely based in the past, but these new feelings are much different than that intense puppy love. I have a respect for her seeing her as a grown woman and mother, and as a good wife to her husband. Because aside from having any feelings for me, she has never mistreated him nor cheated on him. They have a great family and she has overcome a lot to get that. I have a great family too.
We acknowledged that while we did love each other, it was a different kind of love, the kind that you never lose for your first great romance. We have no plans to get physical, nor to pledge our eternal passions to one another the world be damned.We are very good friends that share a wonderful bond that is remarkably still there 20 years later. Things are okay. Aside from maybe meeting for lunch one day or sharing a bowl (funny thing, we both turned into pot smokers) and some laughs, that will be it. I have told her she always has a friend with a shoulder to cry on or laugh on if she needs it. I think she likes that.
Truth be told, we both feel like pretty lucky people. We really love our families, and our spouses really love us and are good people. Then to have facebook, masquerading as fate (thanks for that insight PF) put us back in touch we realized that something special never died. It just got older and wiser, but still very nice -- and platonic!
One more reason I won't be straying anywhere anytime is that besides my undying love for my family, and the wonderful woman that the universe really did put me with (thank you Rhiannon), that wonderful woman is absolutely, curl my toes, make me damn near pass-out, awesome in bed.
When you know what lock a key fits into, you don't need to try any others.
Again, thank you all, and PF, I will try to be around sooner next time!