Friendship is a two way street - he has to want to engage. However, it's your responsibility to make him feel welcome, and wanted, and to seek him out.

I'd call him (much better medium than email) and apologize for the conversation getting off poorly last time. Tell him that you miss him, and would like to catch up...find out what's going on his life. If the gay thing comes up, explain that you don;t think he's gay - and even if he was, he'd still be your friend. You don;t care. Too many years as friends - you know who he really is.

Is your friendship more important or your pride? If he's had that many changes in his life, he may be lonely and looking for someone to demonstrate some initiative. He may have been having a bad day. And he may feel bitter and deserted - hopefully the apology will diffuse any of those feelings some. Follow up phone calls and consistency will help repair the relationship, if he too wants it repaired.

Good luck!

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney